18 things Kmart addicts think when they walk into Kmart

By Hayley Pearson

Is anyone else still waiting to be contacted by the marketing manager of Kmart and asked to be a Kmart tester?

To all our fellow K.M addicts… I wrote this after another impromptu trip to Kmart on the weekend… 18 things Kmart addicts think when they walk into Kmart.

 

1. Far. Out. I haven’t been to Kmart in 2 days. I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!

2. Okay, I’m only here to buy socks. I definitely don’t need anything else.

3. Oh f**k! Rose-gold water jugs are on SALE!

4. I’ll just swing past the homewares section on the way to socks.

5. I definitely don’t need a blush pink soap dispenser. Oh, it’s only $3. I’ll take 4, thanks!

6. Wait, why am I here again?

Ummm….?

Oh, must have been soap dispensers.

7. Pretty sure I need a new bin in the kitchen…and 2 for the bathrooms… and a spare one, just in case.

8. Who knew there were so many different fake plants? I probably should get one in every room for some diversity. And I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that it’s good for Feng shui.

9. Now, concentrate…where are those socks? Oh look… something sparkly in the ladies shoe area! Gold Slides? If you squint, they look just like the ones in Mimco.

10. CUUUUTE.  Pineapple dog costumes!

11. Now, I definitely need another cushion. I better go back to the homewares and have another look.

12. Okay, I need a trolley now. (Gets trolley). Ahhh good, loads more room to fill up. Now, where was I? Are they kaftans??!!

13. How many 2-toned ceramic pots can I fit in my trolley? 1,2,3 and (squeezes another in) 4!

14. Is it acceptable to buy ripped jeans from K-mart? These ones are $15 — YES IT’S ACCEPTABLE!

15. Sick, mugs!

16. Oh damn  it, another giant plastic, black, white and red shopping bag to shove into my cupboard…

17. There’s no way I’m going through self-serve checkout. That annoying robot woman who says with her patronising tone, “Please place item in the bagging area” is SO freaking annoying. Oh f**k, here I am again. Help?? Someone? I DID place the item in the bagging area! God damn it!

18. F**k!!! WHERE ARE MY KIDS???? Austin? Alfie???!!!

 

Love Hayley xx

 

Image credits Kmart Facebook

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