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I saw a great quote this week…

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If you think that’s funny, it’s probably because you’re like me — a teenager of the ’90s. We laugh, because we know it’s true!

In 1998, 17-year-old girls looked like this… (Yep, this is me).

Hayley Pearson (Image credit :: my disposable Kodak camera)

Today, 17-year-old girls look like this…

Kendall Jenner; Adelady

Kendall Jenner (image credit :: http://pixshark.com)

What the hell??? How is this possible? Are parents breeding better-looking kids these days or did we, as teenagers, just not try? Maybe we thought paper-thin eyebrows and braces with multi-coloured elastics were attractive?! At what point did teenagers start taking care of themselves?

Let’s just talk purely aesthetics for a second, growing up, in terms of ratings, I was about a 7/10… until I hit puberty. Then, I became a low 4. My ‘awkward stage’ seemed to last longer than most girls. I was gross, pretty much the whole way through high school. My sun-kissed blonde hair turned thick, brown and fuzzy, and my “t-zone” looked like a slice of “the Bigfoot” from Pizza Hut. There’s nothing wrong with getting pimples, but it’s like I didn’t notice they were there. I just let them be. Big. White. Angry. My hair was fuzzy (I like to say ‘curly’) but when I was in year 10, back in 1930, hair straighteners weren’t invented yet. Instead, I’d brush the curles out, so my ponytail was pure fuzz — like a poodle’s tail. Oh, and I mustn’t forget the two thin pieces of hair that I’d leave out at the front. These were crucial if I wanted to look extra pretty!

I’ve thought long and hard about this ‘mystery’. The mystery of what happened to the awkward-looking-teenager? It appears that they have become extinct. So, I’ve done my research (in my Encyclopaedia Britannica) and come up with five reasons why teenage girls are much less awkward now than they were in the ’90s.

Hair

Let’s all bow down to the GHD. Thanks to this revolutionary invention, girls with naturally fuzzy or wavy hair, are starting to look less like Gene Wilder (circa 1977), and more like attractive young women. If we’re talking ratings again, straighteners can turn an average 6/10 into an 8 or 9. God bless the straightener!

Clothes 

Well, fashion has definitely improved since I was in high school. Baggy “Ice” jeans and loose Esprit T-shirts with canvas shoes have dwindled in popularity for some reason? They’ve been replaced with designer cut-off shorts, Steve Madden shoes and Urban Outfitters singlets. To my Year 9 social, I wore patent leather red pants (from Hound Dog), a skin-tight blue T-shirt with an enormous white ‘Carol Brady’ collar and blue lipstick. Before you read on, just process that for a second… BLUE LIPSTICK!!! Why blue?!

Boobs

I don’t know if girls these days are eating more chicken, but damn girl, boozies have got bigger! Maybe it’s padded bras? I wore a sports bra with no underwire when I was in year 11, which may have contributed to my teenage non-existent chest. Although, I do take after my dad, so maybe God gave me pecs instead of boobs?!

Eye brows

Unfortunately, if you were a teenager of the ’90s, you probably plucked your eyebrows into a skinny line, no thicker than a worm. As a result, we now have poor eyebrow game. Nobody told us, if you pluck your eyebrows they won’t come back! Today, big, perfectly-shaped Miranda Kerr brows are in and every 17-year-old is sporting a pair.

Makeup

In 1999, my makeup case consisted of three things: blue eyeshadow, glitter and BLUE LIPSTICK!!! ( very Spice Girl-esque) No foundation. No concealer. No eyeliner. No bronzer. Who needed bronzer when we had glitter?! Obviously, my pimple-infested t-zone was the drawcard to my 17-year-old face. Why on earth would I want to hide that with concealer??

So there you go, that’s why teenage girls are hotter now than they were in the 1990s. In saying that, I actually think teenagers these days are missing out by not having the ‘ugly stage’. They can’t look back and laugh at themselves with their best friends like we can. And that’s the best part!

So, let’s get our Lemon Ruskies and passion fruit UDLs, and say cheers to the ugly stage!

Hayley xx

Hayley Pearson

Hayley Pearson

Co-Creator and Writer for Adelady, she still gets goosebumps that she’s combined her creative passion with sharing the best of her stunning home state.

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