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By Alicia Norton

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year – in my opinion anyway. Basically it’s because I’m a child stuck in an adults’ body and glitter is my favourite accessory. While I don’t have any particular religious affiliations, I do strongly believe that cheese platters, champagne and gift giving are essential aspects of the months of November and December, which deserve to be celebrated with full gusto.

I love Christmas and Christmas shopping – let’s be honest though, this time of year brings out the varying shades of shoppers (shock horror, not everyone loves to shop!) – and anyone whose ever worked in retail will tell you that not all of them are pretty.

Christmas shopping, be it a chore or a pleasure – where do you find yourself on the list?

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1. The stress head

You won’t see this shopper in December, because they did their Chrissy shopping in the mid Myer year sales. Even though they shop six months in advance, it was still the single most stressful thing that they had to undertake in their entire year. Babes, take a chill pill, if Christmas shopping is the most difficult thing on your calendar then maybe you need to get just a little perspective?

2. The last minute marathon runner

Predominantly a male dominated category but not completely free of the Adeladies. These people are so thankful that shopping centres extend their trading hours in the week before Christmas. While they might not get you something that you actually want, please understand that their late night purchase (a novelty bottle opener) was selected in a state of sleep depravation. They are the ones’s knocking on “Closed” shop doors in Rundle Mall on Christmas Eve, begging to come inside.

3. The cool customer

This chilled out babe has a vague list but still manages to find the perfect gift for everyone in less time that it takes the average person to decide what they want for breakfast at Argo on The Parade (because, let’s be honest, that menu is huge). You love to hate the cool customer but don’t forget, envy is a sin my pretties and the bad boys and girls only get coal for Christmas.

4. The “May I speak to the manager please”?

Ever worked in retail? Then you’ll know this lady. You can spot her a mile away – crowds part because she gives off a vibe that says, “Mess with me and I’ll take you down”. If she enters the store you’re working in and you accidentally say, “Seasons greetings” in the wrong tone, you’ll be out of the job faster than you can utter ‘free gift wrapping’ – do not mess with this bad ass. She’s on a mission and loves a good customer vs manager fight.

5. The out of towners

As the child of country dwellers I know this category all too well. Heading to the big smoke is not just an outing, it’s an event. Appointments are scheduled back to back to ensure time is maximised and a speedy return to quiet country life is swiftly facilitated. Christmas shopping is no different, they’ll stock up for the next three months while they’re here. Costco is a blessing to these folks and hey, they’ll probably buy a new fridge, big screen TV and even a new car while they’re in town, just to make the most of it.

6. The local ladies

Supporting local businesses is where it is at. You can’t go wrong grabbing a gift made right here in South Australia. There are so many amazing local artists and crafters that we are absolutely spoilt for choice and if prioritising supporting local businesses over nabbing a bargain or flashing a big name brand is your style then I take my hat off to you – spread the love and get around it this festive season! Their presents are always wrapped in cool, one-off-looking,  Adelaide-made, organic wrapping paper. We’d all love to be this person, but unfortunately most of us end up being #2 instead.

7. The family day out

There’s one word for this Christmas shopper and that is; brave. To try and sneak gifts for the kids into the mix while they’re in tow, you have to be brave… or crazy. Sure you might want to pay a visit to The Magic Cave and Father Christmas during the day too – but remember, the magic cave workers are not baby sitters – yes, I have worked that job and it was not pleasant explaining to 100 different mums each day that they would need to stay in line with their child for the next two hours and not run off to grab something while they’re occupied, please do bare that in mind!

8. The savvy shopper

This is the kind of customer who parks in the Rundle Street Early Bird Car Park, stays in the city for 12 hours, buying gifts and returning them in the same day. They barter in Jetty Surf, thinking they’re in Thailand, trying to get a pair of Ripcurl boardies for $7. Christmas is certainly not the cheapest time of the year and costs do quickly add up. But, there are ways to keep costs down – and there’s plenty of easy, fun and cheap craft activities to create some really cool gifts. If this is the direction that you’re heading in, do bare in mind that a key chain made by your seven year old probably isn’t the perfect addition to the work Kris Kringle.

9. The, hey big spender

If the vague rule is that you spend a maximum of $20 in your Kris Kringle, the average person might push it to 30 or 40 but this person throws in a gift anywhere in the vicinity of $100 – and leaves the price tag on. Why? Let’s not get bitchy, so we’ll dodge that question and just hope that they’re buying for us this year!

10. The lovechild of Scrooge and the Grinch

You know how sometimes you meet someone and go, “Yeah, you’re not my people”? This is them. You’re not a fan of Christmas? Basically we can’t be friends, anyone who does not value tinsel, eggnog and an annual viewing session of Love Actually should probably just stay out of my life – and don’t bring down my shopping vibe with your grinchy whinge or I’ll hit you with a candy cane, understand?

Which one are you?

Alicia xx

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Adelady Guest

Adelady Guest

Adelady wouldn't be the same without our amazing contributors, who are ALL creative and share our overwhelming love for SA.

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