Hahndorf is the glamour girl of the Adelaide Hills and one of SA’s most attractive towns — especially in Autumn. Not only is it pretty to look at, but it holds some of Adelaide’s best restaurants. I’ve eaten my way down the main street many a time. Fromage at Udder Delights to Thali plates at The Mustard Seed, I cannot get enough. If you love to people-watch, you might recognise these ten types, often found along the main street.
1. The bored teenager
He’s come with his parents on a Sunday outing for lunch and a window shop. He rolls his eyes as his mum stops to look at Every. Single. Shop. He walks along, hat down, eyes glued to his mobile, just in case he bumps into someone he knows. Imagine being caught in Hahndorf with your parents — God, that would be sooooo embarrassing!
2. The tourists from down the hill
They’ve come from Burnside on a day trip and their four-wheel drive is packed like they’re going to Victor for a week. They’ll even spend some serious coin on a set of postcards or tea towels to say, “We visited Hahndorf.” They’re Hahndorf’s biggest advocates. At dinner parties, they’ll tell all their friends “it’s exquisite” and that “they must go”!
3. The old couple
These guys make my heart smile. They love Hahndorf for all its beauty; they walk along holding hands and take at least three hours to get from one end to the other. The old lady will take a seat at Udder Delights, while her husband walks back to get their 1950’s Ford to pick her up. They have all the time in the world to eat cake, sip tea and gaze into each other’s eyes, knowing that they’re the luckiest couple in the world.
4. The first daters
They go to the German Arms because it’s awesome, vibey and cool. They’re always a little embarrassed when the GIANT German Arms hot dog arrives, covered in sauerkraut. Both of them want to make a penis joke, but it’s too early in the relationship to be crass.
5. The American tourist
Walking around in their cream chino shorts and pastel cashmere jumpers tied around their necks, they own Hahndorf. The dad has printed out the entire history of “ye olde German town” (which he studied the night before) and leads his family around like he’s a certified tour guide.
6. The Von Trapp family
They’ve come from Germany for a holiday and obviously want to visit their home away from home. They love Hahndorf, but wonder why the shopkeepers don’t understand them when they talk German. The Adelaide Hills really ARE alive for this group when they’re sitting at Otto’s Bakery, eating their trademark slice of Bienenstich (Bee Sting cake).
7. The guy showing off his new sports car
He parks (illegally) in the main street, taking up two spaces because he doesn’t want someone to get too close to his red Lamborghini. He’ll park directly outside where he’s having lunch and it’s imperative that he tells the best-looking waitress he needs a window seat — to keep an eye on his car. By emphasising to her that it’s his car, he assumes a date will follow.
8. The family with small children wanting a “relaxing” day in Hahndorf
(This is me.) These people have a warped sense of reality. They imagine wandering slowly through the shops, licking ice cream, laughing and relaxing in the sunshine at The Haus Hahndorf. In reality, the mum is running down the main street after her kids, trying to stop them from darting across the busy road. The toddler is in the knick-knack shop, pulling everything from the aisles. The mum is sweating and stressing that her child may have broken something. The dad just says, “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine — chill.”
9. The disgruntled local
This person loves to live in Hahndorf and you’ll often see them walking their dog along the main street. They’re the ones in shorts and T-shirts (because they don’t feel the cold), often rolling their eyes at how many people are ALSO enjoying the fruits of their fine town. They just want to go to their local coffee shop on a Sunday morning and order “just the usual”, without lining up.
10. The lost family
This family has come up to Hahndorf to visit Beerenberg and The Farm Barn. Covered in sun cream and Legionnaire hats, they’re all decked out, ready for a day of strawberry picking. They park along the main street and you’ll see the mum running in and out of shops asking people, “Where’s the Strawberry Farm?” When she discovers that they’re in the wrong spot, she gets angry at her husband for not knowing the directions. You never actually know if they arrive at Beerenberg or not.
It’s these ten people that help make Hahndorf so wonderfully interesting!
Have I missed anyone?
If you like this, then you might also like Ten People You’ll Meet Climbing Mt Lofty.