Anyone who travels to Europe normally comes back a few kilos heavier! It’s the worst. At what point do we think it’s okay to have pizza and ice cream for lunch and then pasta and ice cream followed by copious amounts of drinking for dinner?
This time last year I was probably drunk on a beach somewhere re-living my youth and trying to keep up with 18-year-olds. In my head, I was the ring leader. Oh God, it was fabulous. All the while, I was slowly gaining weight, as was EVERY other Aussie who was on holiday there too.
My friend, Laura experienced the same thing when travelling overseas. A few kilos heavier, she wrote this — I think it sums it up travelling to Europe perfectly!
By Laura Prior
10 reasons why gaining weight on a European holiday isn’t a bad thing…
1. Seeing the sights and tourist attractions including the London Eye aren’t so crowded, because you’re given the whole carriage to yourself (or weight limits would be exceeded.)
2. You get cheap tickets to the Eiffel Tower. The heat means your hair is in a permanent slicked back bun and your wide appearance leaves you looking like a chubby little boy, so they let you through at child prices!
3. A trip to Running with the Bulls means that if you decide to run, your body is protected by a thick and durable layer of fat that cannot be pierced by the average bull’s horn. #winning
4. As the sailing boats dock side by side in Croatia and you attempt to make your drunken stumble across them — never fear — you’re saved by your extra cushioning! Your legs may dangle through the gap but the rest of you won’t follow.
5. The token photos attempting to lean or push on the Tower of Pisa won’t look cliche and fake. Your snaps will scarily give the impression your body has actually caused an entire building to fall.
6. As you hit the sun in Ibiza, the glistening reflection off your oiled up cellulite will blind eyes from every angle and distract any unwanted male attention.
7. If you’re cruising past the crazy Greek drivers in Santorini and happen to take a nasty tumble off your quad bike, no worries! Your large bum means you’ll bounce, rather than fall — and you’re left without a scratch.
8. As you hit the clubs in Berlin and Prague, no need to wait in line! Someone says: “It’s Rebel Wilson,” the bouncer high fives you and drinks are on the house. I love Rebel!
9. You can take advantage of those crazy European summer sales (mostly because none of the clothes you took with you, fit anymore). No need to try anything on, as everything left on the rack happens to be your size.
10. And last but not least, yes you guessed it, more cushion for the pushin’! It is Europe after all.
Did I miss any?