Guest Blog By Erin Brennan :: Little Whimsy Co.
When you’re about to have a baby and people say things like, “Your life will never be the same again”, or, “Your whole world is about to change”, it feels like it’s said as a life sentence. And I always took it as though those people were saying it in a negative way.
They were correct for sure about life not being the same but I feel like their tone almost set us up to be scared of those changes to come. Yes becoming a parent is scary but there is definitely better ways that these things could be said. I feel like honesty with compassion gets lost a little and I would have really appreciated someone saying something like this instead…
There will be days when everything is a blur, in fact weeks and possibly even months. But it is ever changing. Don’t think of it as a life sentence. Every baby is different, some will cry and most won’t sleep, and with each new stage they grow, new challenges and learning curves will arise.
There will be days when you feel like “you’ve got this” and there will be days where you know you don’t. Some babies are sick, some are happy to take their time to reach certain milestones and some refuse to feed, they each have their own quirks. Some scream for hours and at other times they’ll melt your heart with a smile.
It may take a while for you to feel like your old self again, but that may also never happen again in some ways too. Some parts of you are lost forever, but that may not be a bad thing. It might be the part of you that use to care about really trivial things or that use to have to know about what all the celebrities were up to, or the part of you that use to remember where you put your keys and phone. Trust me it’s not that big a loss, well the last one wastes a lot of time, but still not the end of the world. But you’re a parent now so you’ve also gained new parts and pieces of yourself too. You may look at the world through slightly different eyes. And you will no doubt find that tears arrive a lot easier than they use to, because now you can relate to those sad stories on the news and think, what if that was my child. You’ve also gained a new perspective for what you’re mum may have gone through with you, and you might even feel a tad guilty about some of those things.
So although these things in your life will have certainly changed, and you may be unsure what the future will have in store for you, learn from that uncertainty, live in it and thrive the best way you possibly can. Try not to waste too much time being scared, the unknown is scary but it is also beautiful.
Ask for help if you need it, you might find yourself saying a lot of the time why didn’t anyone ever tell me that? I sure did. Well that is because no two stories, mothers or babies are the same, unfortunately there is no realistic guide to being the perfect parent. Figuring out your journey and what is right for you and your family can be tricky. You will never have felt so busy in your life but also at the same time like you’ve accomplished nothing. But give yourself a break, you’ve created and are now raising another human, someone that depends upon you more than you ever thought possible.
Their love is unconditional, they haven’t been influenced too much by the outside world as yet, to them, you are their world. So while you’re world might have changed, think about how amazing it is that you’ve also created a whole new world, one that didn’t even exist before, and to me, that’s pretty Fucking amazing!