I’ve been to many a Xmas party. From working in retail, to radio, to TV. It doesn’t matter where you work, you still come across the same kind of hilarity at every Xmas party. I’ve seen a Creative Writer punch our General Manager in the face, I’ve seen young women party pash married guys, I’ve seen corporate jerks make a fool of themselves on the D-floor. I’ve seen it all. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. BRING. ON. WORK. XMAS. PARTIES!
Here are ten people you’ll come across at your work Xmas party… and some snaps from my SAFM Xmas party a couple of years ago — apologies to my friends who made the cut.
Hayley xx
10 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU’LL FIND AT YOUR WORK XMAS PARTY
1. The I’m-in-sales girl. I wear geek glasses because they’re cool. Not because I need them. I’ll swap my Cue pencil skirt for a tiny dress and F-me stilettos. I’m single and I’ll probably pash you.
2. The I’m-the-most-boring-person-at-work guy. Nobody knows my name but I’m going to get so drunk that I’ll end up doing “the worm” on the D-floor all night. On Monday, I’ll have a nickname and everyone will know who I am. “Worm Guy”.
3. The I’m-in-middle-management guy. I’m going to lead the sales girls on to think they could get a promotion, even though it’s not up to me. Oh and my wife asked me if she could come so I lied and told her that partners weren’t invited.
4. The I’m-the-boss. I’m going to be super strong and not drink. I’ll be home by 9pm. #teamplayer
5. The I’m-an-unappreciated-worker guy. I’m going to have one too many beers and punch the boss in the face. I’ll get fired on Monday and have severe regret.
6. The I’m-a-conservative-work-experience girl. I’m going to get my pins out and show em’ who’s boss. On Monday, I’ll be timid again, hiding under my shell. Until next Xmas party.
7. The I’m-the-horny-single-larrikin. I’m going to hook up with as many chicks in accounts as possible. They’ll all hate me on Monday. But hey, my friends will think I’m KING.
8. The I’m-about-to-break-up-with-my-boyfriend girl. I’ll spend the whole night crying in the corner and my co-workers will send me home in a cab at 1am.
9. The workaholic-co-worker girl. I’ll rock up late, still in my work gear. I’ll have one drink and spend the whole night talking about work and trying to climb the corporate ladder.
10. The office-weirdo guy. You’ve never had a deep conversation with me until tonight when you find out I’m fourty-five, living in my parents’ basement and sleeping on a single bed. I have cat posters on my wall. You’ll never speak to me again.
Did I miss anyone?
Hayley xx
